After popular demand, our luscious human earwax is now available double the size and twice the bite.
Harvested from humans fed on a strict diet of Tinned Fear, these best-selling Impacted Earwax Bars are mouth-watering and magnificent value.
All profits go to the Ministry of Stories, a creative writing charity for humans
Here at Hoxton Street Monster Supplies, there are many comings and goings, moanings and groanings, things that go bump in the night, and lots of ghastly goings on.
To stay abreast of these matters, as well as new products, special offers and other grim tales, please sign up to our newsletter below:
We currently deliver to UK destinations via 2nd Class Royal Mail or using our UPS courier service for heavy or large parcels.
If you wish us to ship internationally, please click on our 'Shipping Overseas' tab on the home page and make use our international portal, Trouva.
Postage and packing costs:
This charge helps cover our straw, box and cockroach costs and ensures more of your purchase can support writing workshops for young people at the Ministry of Stories.
Our team of zombie volunteers aims to fulfil orders twice a week and on the outside you can expect delivery within 12 working days of order confirmation, but usually sooner. Unless something truly hideous happens, in which case delays of several centuries are not unlikely.
You can return products if:
- You decide within seven days the product isn’t for you. You’ll receive a full refund, including delivery charge, processed within 30 days of return of the unwanted goods. Please send this with the original returns form supplied with your order, emailing us at email@example.com to let us know it is on the way. Please look after the product when you have it! Do not burn it, eat it, sit on it, drown it, or in any way cause it harm. We might need to ask for compensation otherwise.
- You don’t agree to a change in our terms and conditions or other policies, or you think the product is faulty. You will need to return the product with its original returns form. We’ll check the product upon receipt and email you regarding your refund. We’ll process it as soon as monstrously possible – definitely within 30 days of us emailing to confirm a refund. You’ll receive the full price of the product and delivery, plus any costs for sending it to us.
Please check the dispatch confirmation to find out more about your statutory right of cancellation. Returning a product doesn’t affect your other statutory rights as a consumer. Nor as a monster.
We try to use the same method to pay you as you used to pay us.
Hoxton Street Monster Supplies is run under license from the Ministry of Stories, a volunteering organisation which helps young people with all manner of writing, through free one-to-one mentoring and writing workshops.
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