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Impacted earwax photo

Impacted Earwax

After popular demand, our luscious human earwax is now available in convenient 'on the go' form!

Harvested from humans fed on a strict diet of Tinned Fear, these best-selling Impacted Earwax Bars are mouth-watering and magnificent value.


Unfortunately, this product isn't available to buy on our site.
However, you can buy it on our partner sites.

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Free UK delivery on orders over £65 - Delivery and returns information

All profits go to the Ministry of Stories, a creative writing charity for humans

Notes for Humans:

Delicious Clotted Cream Fudge (50g)


Sugar, Glucose syrup, Sweetened Condensed Milk (Milk, Sugar), Palm Oil, Clotted cream 4% (Milk), Butter (Milk, Salt), Emulsifier: Soya Lecithin, Humectant; Glycerine, Salt.

‘Absolutely delicious. Sticks to your ribs.’

-Richard C, Troll

Free UK delivery on all orders over £65