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Cubed Earwax

Our earwax is harvested from humans fed on a strict diet of Tinned Fear, which is marvellously effective in stimulating the Ceruminous Gland. Made the traditional way, in copper pans above a gas flame, this is some of the finest earwax available anywhere.


Free UK delivery on orders over £50 - Delivery and returns information

All profits go to the Ministry of Stories, a creative writing charity for humans

Notes for Humans:

Delicious Clotted Cream Fudge in Individually Wrapped Bites

Clotted Cream Fudge (50g). Ingredients: Sugar, Glucose syrup, Sweetened condensed milk, Refined vegetable oil, Clotted cream 4%, Butter, Emulsifier: soya lecithin, Humectant: glycerine, Salt

‘Loved the bars of blended earwax but was thrilled to discover it also comes in single-source cubes. We made a party game of trying to identify the diets consumed during individual cubes’ production.’

-Joe and Russ, Invisible Men

Free UK delivery on all orders over £50