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Opening hours: Tues - Fri 1-5pm; Sats 11-5pm
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Thickest Human Snot

Just in: freshly harvested snot from a broad range of snivelling humans.

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Cockroach Soap

Our variation of soap on a rope, introducing our new roach in a soap.

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Dr. Jekyll's Study - Scented Candle

Inspired by the calm of the Doctor's Victorian Study.

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Cubed Earwax

Some of the finest earwax available, made the traditional way

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Salt Made from Tears of Laughter

Forcefully extracted from Giggling Gerties across the UK for your delectation.

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Sugar Dusted Bogies

A chewy, tangy-sweet morsel. Extra-large, for ogres of all ages.

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Mr. Hyde's Madness - Scented Candle

Inspired by Mr Hyde's dark and dangerous energy.

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Escalating Panic

Instil a steadily increasing sensation of pure panic

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Toasted Bone Chunks

A favourite amongst generations of giants

Due to a rather inconvenient curse, all profits go to the Ministry of Stories, a creative writing and mentoring charity for young humans

Most craved this week

Brain Food photo
Brain Food

£4

Cockroach Soap
Cockroach Soap

£7.50

Thickest Human Snot
Thickest Human Snot

£7

Rat Brains
Rat Brains

£6.50

Service with a snarl

~ Since 1818 ~

London’s oldest supplier of goods for the living, dead and undead delivers to monsters right across the UK.
We were recently voted 'No. 1 Kids' Shop in London' by Time Out Magazine. Which is strange, as we're evidently a shop for monsters.

159 Hoxton Street, London N1 6PJ

Free UK delivery on orders over £50

Collections

Bath and Body

Bathing? Over our dead body

Bath and Body
Best Sellers

<p>Gift ideas for those in your life or afterlife</p>

Best Sellers
Books

Not everything that can be eaten, should be eaten. But it can still be ingested

Books
Edibles

When human flesh alone will not suffice

Edibles
Lifestyle

Even the undead need a life

Lifestyle
New arrivals

Trendsetting for Trolls. Prowl our new goods for the monsters in your life

New arrivals
Pharmacy

Retain a deathly pallor with our range of remedies

Pharmacy
View all

<p>For beings that won't stop until they have it all</p>

View all
Writing

Howling got you down? Explore other ways to communicate

Writing
 
 

Delivery information

We currently deliver to UK destinations only, via 2nd class Royal Mail or Parcel Force 48 Hours service.

Postage and packing costs:

  • - £3.50 for orders of up to £25,
  • - £7 for orders £25 - £50
  • - Free for any order over £50

This charge helps cover our costs and ensures your purchases support writing workshops for young people at the Ministry of Stories.

Our team of zombie volunteers aims to fulfil orders twice a week and on the outside you can expect delivery within 12 working days of order confirmation, but usually sooner. Unless something truly hideous happens, in which case delays of several centuries are not unlikely.

Returns information

You can return products if:

- You decide within seven days the product isn’t for you. You’ll receive a full refund, including delivery charge, processed within 30 days of return of the unwanted goods. Please send this with the original returns form supplied with your order, emailing us at shop@ministryofstories.org to let us know it is on the way. Please look after the product when you have it! Do not burn it, eat it, sit on it, drown it, or in any way cause it harm. We might need to ask for compensation otherwise.

- You don’t agree to a change in our terms and conditions or other policies, or you think the product is faulty. You will need to return the product with its original returns form. We’ll check the product upon receipt and email you regarding your refund. We’ll process it as soon as monstrously possible – definitely within 30 days of us emailing to confirm a refund. You’ll receive the full price of the product and delivery, plus any costs for sending it to us.

Please check the dispatch confirmation to find out more about your statutory right of cancellation. Returning a product doesn’t affect your other statutory rights as a consumer. Nor as a monster.

We try to use the same method to pay you as you used to pay us.

 
ministry of stories

Hoxton Street Monster Supplies is run under license from the Ministry of Stories, a volunteering organisation which helps young people with all manner of writing, through free one-to-one mentoring and writing workshops.

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