This page has been automatically translated for humans

View all

For beings that won't stop until they have it all

Human Preserves Combination Pack
Human Preserves Combination Pack

£12.50

Monster Supplies Gift Card
Monster Supplies Gift Card

From £10

Guts and Garlic Chutney main image
Guts & Garlic Chutney

£7.50

Thickest Human Snot
Thickest Human Snot

£7.50

Range of Human Preserves
Range of Human Preserves

£27

HSMS Word Certificate
HSMS Word Certificate

£10

Seasonal Bogies
Seasonal Bogies

£4.50

Premium Tongs
Premium Tongs

£4

Organic Humans: Snot Special (Set of two)
Organic Humans: Snot Special (Set of two)

£11

Impacted Earwax - Large Bar
Impacted Earwax - Large Bar

£4.50

Little Monster Sticker
Little Monster Sticker

£0.50

BOO! Sticker
BOO! Sticker

£0.50

Free UK delivery on orders over £50

Due to a rather inconvenient curse, all profits go to the Ministry of Stories, a creative writing and mentoring charity for young humans

 
 

Delivery information

We currently deliver to UK, via 2nd class Royal Mail or Parcel Force 48 hours service.

Postage and packing costs:

  • £5.50 for orders of up to £50
  • Free for any order over £50

This charge helps cover our costs and ensures your purchases support writing workshops for young people at the Ministry of Stories.

Our team of zombie volunteers aims to fulfil orders twice a week and on the outside you can expect delivery within 12 working days of order confirmation, but usually sooner.

Unless something truly hideous happens, in which case delays of several centuries are not unlikely.

Returns information

You can return products if:

  • You decide within seven days the product isn’t for you. You’ll receive a full refund, including delivery charge, processed within 30 days of return of the unwanted goods. Please send this with the original returns form supplied with your order, emailing us at shop@ministryofstories.org to let us know it is on the way. Please look after the product when you have it! Do not burn it, eat it, sit on it, drown it, or in any way cause it harm. We might need to ask for compensation otherwise.
  • You don’t agree to a change in our terms and conditions or other policies, or you think the product is faulty. You will need to return the product with its original returns form. We’ll check the product upon receipt and email you regarding your refund. We’ll process it as soon as monstrously possible – definitely within 30 days of us emailing to confirm a refund. You’ll receive the full price of the product and delivery, plus any costs for sending it to us.

Please check the dispatch confirmation to find out more about your statutory right of cancellation. Returning a product doesn’t affect your other statutory rights as a consumer. Nor as a monster.

We try to use the same method to pay you as you used to pay us.

 
ministry of stories

Hoxton Street Monster Supplies is run under license from the Ministry of Stories, a volunteering organisation which helps young people with all manner of writing, through free one-to-one mentoring and writing workshops.

You have already taken the first step to discovering our whereabouts. Jolly good work! Now, take the next step...